Does anyone want a recap of the first 200?
Yes we do ;D, well I do as I'm losing track of what we,ve learnt so far
Your wish is my command (hold on to your hat!)
(I have done some minor editing, in case you ever want to use these as the "headline". I also took the liberty of replacing #56 and 103 as they were repeats).
500 things we learned from the Bonzos: The first 200!1. The Urban Spaceman doesn’t exist.
2. The hotel reception area needs better staffing, an improved heating system, an air freshener and above all an interior decorator.
3. It’s a lovely day.
4. People don’t really want to talk about Keynsham.
5. Beautiful Zelda may have broken all the super hearts of all the super heroes of the galaxy, but she clearly has a thing for a certain Earth boy.
6. Fish-face has got the power!
7. Britannia is cool.
8. No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in.
9. Bullfight posters recall happy memories.
10. He’s got a head on him like a rabbit!
11. "What the Butler Saw" was a bit of a drag.
12. Parrots CAN pick up peanuts with their toes.
13. It's beautiful to be so far ahead.
14. Ronnie the raincoat has never seen his wife in the nude, but instead devotes his time to hanging out in a bookstore.
15. Camembert cheese makes cannibal chiefs cheeky
16. There's an equestrian statue coming.
17. And look out! there's a monster coming too!
18. Lilian Gish has her own sound.
19. Shirts. Where is it?
20. You can be too old for train sets and too young to shave.
21. You should be using Nu Style Porridge, wonderful in jars or tubes ... 17/11
22. My Pink Half Of The Drain Pipe keeps me safe from YOU.
23. The Equestrian Statue will bring us Joy.
24. Some people say it flowers, some with noise, but you don't get many trying to say it with humanoids.
25. It's hell to walk for hours and hours with sand between your toes.
26. Pigs all grunt, dogs bow-wow.
27. Keynsham is spelt K-E-Y-N-S-H-A-M.
28. I've got a sister in Toronto.
29. My sister in Toronto is a nurse.
30. Normal people dig Bert Weedon.
31. Tigers have no need to wet their appetites.
32. Camels smile by pointing their tails backward.
33. It's very revolutionary to not have washed in weeks.
34. Someone's gonna make you pay your fare.
35. There are things that must be done that are not yet begun.
36. Tubing, a funnel and a trumpet mouthpiece can be devised into a musical instrument.
37. We're not at home outside a pub, are we?
38. I'm bored.
39. Camels don't go to heaven.
40. Bringing your girl progressively more impressive fruit will gain you additional liberties.
41. There's a picture of my cousin with a hankie on his head.
42. If you're normal I shall be a freak for the rest of my life.
43. It's an odd boy who doesn't like (s)port.
44. I'm gonna get you in my tent-tent-tent-tent-tent.
45. We were wrong (about the tent bit, probably).
46. You done my brain in.
47. I do what I do, every day.
48. I'm going to rhino over your lino.
49. Tubas in the moonlight will bring my loved one home.
50. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
51. The depraved save money.
52. I should die if I should lose you now.
53. There once was a very famous man.
54. If your armpits smell, your breath is bad and you look like hell, you'll feel so sad.
55. Lord Snooty's giant electric head is poisoned.
56. Lord Snooty and his pals can tap dance.
57. Steven still has headaches and feels a bit snotty.
58. The Head Ballet is the only ballet that Steven Hawking could do.
59. Tubas in the moonlight will bring my loved one home.
60. Apparently position 31 is a lot of fun.
61. It's nice if your tomato plants win a prize.
62. If you are a sweet dessert, watch out for spoons!
63. If you're just married, it sticks out for a mile.
64. Poor Rosemary has her hands full at Rawlinson End.
65. If fate plays the straight man you never have to look back.
66. No! This is not manly!
67. The sea is cold but it's good for chilblains.
68. You can't go into the bar looking like that.
69. Sometimes you just can't win.
70. Princess Anne plays sousaphone.
71. It'll cost you 75 quid to put right a new scratch on the piano.
72. Sandra... smells.
73. We ARE normal and we want our freedom.
74. You can get to Spain by train.
75. The manager makes the rules.
76. If the cat is ill you must have him put down.
77. Incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" can baffle people.
78. So can cabbages and rhinoceroses.
79. All an artiste need do to be paid off immediately is to mention football.
80. Rodney’s got a new attachment on his drill.
81. The Trouser press is better than the prefabricated concrete coal bunker... MUCH better.
82. The autograph wasn’t for himself, lads, it was for ’is daughter.
83. Stay close to the stove because your rice pudding could get burned!
84. Position 72 sounds pretty complicated.
85. Whereas position 31 is terrific fun.
86. Once a month on a Friday there's a man with mop and bucket in his hand.
87. A four stone apology can become two separate gorillas.
88. One can look so sinister in a corset.
89. If there is poultry scare, sail for Australia.
90. It's not normal to be runnin' around in your underpants.
91. You can just see the sea from room 23.
92. If you get bored with Bingo you can go for a swim.
93. Beautiful Zelda is from galaxy four
94. Batchelor Johnny Cools job is Big shot
95. You can be so normal, that you become a freak of nature
96. Position 72 is inter changeable
97. When you're on a spree, keep away from bootleg hooch.
98. Words are words but truth is what we trust.
99. One Bonzo drank Coke instead of lager.
100. It's life, not books, that taught Rodney all he’s learned.
101. Sometimes the pattern is more obvious.
102. New boy Dennis Cowan is incredibly lazy.
103. Zebra Kid and Horace Batchelor make a great team on percussion
104. The joke shop man wraps up his gags in paper bags.
105. Inter-galaxy romances can end badly.
106. If you have a thing about wasps, wear bicycle clips while mowing the lawn.
107. Wrestling poodles is difficult and to win you'll need the help of Mr Apollo.
108. Tigers never say grace and have no table manners.
109. The girl who runs the Greenshield library is getting married.
110. Britons will always be hip.
111. What everyone wants is lots of LSD.
112. Some things are for a psychiatrist to determine, aren't they?
113. If people frown at your hair as you ride into town, wave to them.
114. Tigers are beastly.
115. Tigers bite.
116. Tigers scratch.
117. Tigers make an awful fuss.
118. Hunting tigers can be ripping fun.
119. NOBODY likes soul music.
120. Deluxe Mersey Beat wigs are hard to buy in the correct size.
121. Watermelons are the thing to give to your girl.
122. You wait in all night and day for wardrobes.
123. To lose weight, cut off your left leg.
124. As a lover second to none, It's a lot of fun.
125. If you call a cab and leave your drab East Side room, you could wind up dead.
126. In pyjamas, Johnny Cool carries nothing but scars from Normandy Beach.
127. Infrared hot dogs burn out their energy cells.
128. All the little birds go tweet, tweet, tweet.
129. The lambs all bleat and shake their feet.
130. Everyone says "How do you do?"
131. Everything’s a perfect treat down on Jollity Farm.
132. Tell them Boris sent you, then you can Mash.
133. Just give booze a chance.
134. Craig Torso is wonderful.
135. Alley Oop lived a long time ago.
136. A leg can be a musical instrument.
137. Dogs can't tell the difference between postman and policeman when they take their hats off.
138. Don't spend too much time with dogs or you'll turn into one.
139. Alcoholism is an option if you win lots of money.
140. Flowers can overhear people on a summer walk, even if they are talking quietly.
141. A healthy body makes a healthy mind.
142. Your mother in law can be made happy with tinted photographs of your wedding day.
143. The Crypt Kicker Five are a vocal group.
144. Everything's cool now, because Dracula has joined.
145. The vampires feast in the master bedroom.
146. The zombies are having fun.
147. Then, regular as habit, the biscuits begin to crow.
148. Viv was singing for us covered in sequins.
149. "Legs" Larry Smith is still pretty wonderful.
150. Roger plays the note at the end.
151. Guests for breakfast are a great idea…
152. (You can have) a breast for gueakfast if you prefer.
153. If you're going to keep brains in jars you must water them every day
154. General de Gaulle played accordion.
155. The fuzz know how to deal with aging Teds.
156. Mr. Apollo is the greatest benefactor of mankind.
157. The char char char char charts are voted by the people eople eople eople eople of the record-buying publicoid.
158. Words are words.
159. Words escape like turds.
160. Ronnie the Raincoat hangs out in a book store.
161. Truth is what we trust.
162. Little old ladies stop.
163. Don't let the powers that be disturb-i-ya.
164. The Humanoid Boogie did well in the char char char char charts.
165. Men have dreams of a finer place. Women too.
166. Bonzo the Dog was created by George E. Studdy
167. Bonzo the Dog first appeared in the early 1920s.
168. Despite being English, Bonzo the Dog went on to great success on both sides of the pond.
169. Bonzo the Dog drank to excess and was fond of cocaine.
170. Bonzo the Dog letched after beautiful women, not dogs.
171. The band have had a long, troubled relationship with the Bonzo the Dog copyright owners and still aren't officially allowed to use his image.
172. There is more Bonzo the Dog tat than you could possibly imagine.
173. A trouser press can be a musical instrument.
174. Sir Kenneth Clark played bass sax.
175. When you're tough, you're very fit.
176. Mad Dan Sugar Man and Henrietta Holocaust are au courant with the humanoid scene.
177. Women anticipating marriage can dream of cheap land, children, and his-and-hers towels.
178. Modern Poove of Carnaby Street is your one-stop shop for springboards, Malcolm Roberts’ latest records, joss sticks and tie-dyed ponchos (I learned this from Viv rather than from the Bonzos proper but still worth a mention, I think).
179. If you rejuvenate your energy cells, your virility will be restored.
180. Wear your flannel underwear when you climb trees.
181. You can have a drink in your dressing rooms, but you can't come int’ club looking like that.
182. One’s bag can be burst simply by huffing and puffing.
183. If no one is drownded, you can go for a swim.
184. Despite a recent operation, Dan Druff could play the harp.
185. Inexpensive irons may never need repair, even if you use them every day.
186. The old buck rabbit sings “stuff it up your jumper!”
187. Giraffes smell really good.
188. Incredible Shrinking Man can play euphonium.
189. Some people apparently want to hear tubas playing for them all night…
190. Tourniquets are beautiful.
191. Brainiac can play the banjo.
192. If you answer the door expecting a turbaned ruffian, you may find a very nice young man.
193. You take first right and second left.
194. John Wayne can play the xylophone
195. Put off thought really, ‘ere, doesn't it?
196. If you stick fur to your head, you’ll look freaky.
197. Val Doonican is himself.
198. If you bring your girl good china, she’ll hang it from the shelf.
199. The wardrobe of your soul has a section labeled “Shirts”.
200. Rhino houses stink.
201. The mode of travel from Galaxy four to Earth is the fourth dimensional space warp.
202. Johnny Morris entertained and educated generations of children and their parents through the BBC children's series Animal Magic (1962-83)…but he never had on his show the parrot belonging to Rodney Slater, the Führer of North London.